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Her Story: Katie Compton

Her Story: Katie Compton

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{Forward&UP}

Written by: Bradley Jean

“For we know all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord.” Romans 8:28

The glory of “God stories” is the way He brings His people together to love and care for one another. He values relationships above all else and often brings people together from uncommon places. His stories give us a visual of who He is and He gently allows us to change our hearts to become more like Him.

In this story, there are two very brave, loving mothers. Each put all their trust and hope in the Lord. In the middle is a beautiful, baby boy. The three together tell a story of redemption, laced with tears and joy.

Katie and her family received the precious gift of their son, Bishop, through domestic adoption. Their story is far from perfect, filled with heart ache, pain and loss. Their faith was put to the test, and as God does so well, He brought them great joy and abundance in return. This sweet Mamma, Katie, was not just chosen once to be the mother of Bishop, she was chosen twice.

This is Katie’s story…

It begins after the birth of Katie and Ben’s first child, Campbell. When trying for a second child, the couple struggled with secondary infertility. It was then their hearts began to wander towards adoption. A few years later and to their surprise, Katie became pregnant with a son, Foster. After his birth, Katie put adoption on hold to mother her family for a few years.

When their children were 7 and 3, they decided to jump back into the adoption process. “Adoption really ripped mine and Ben’s heart,” says Katie. “It was so fun because the kids were old enough to know what was going on and to really pray about it with us…they both were so excited and got to dream with us.”

After spending countless hours in paperwork and reviewing profiles, Katie finally chose their birth-mom, whom they call Mama D.  

Very soon, Katie and her family were meeting the birth-mother and her two children. She says it was too good to be true, they immediately felt as if Mama D was family.

“I was sitting in this doctor’s office…and holding her hand and we’re both hearing the heartbeat of our son, together…It’s so surreal. It’s just not ever the situation you would land yourself in…I was totally overwhelmed with gratitude. Only God can bring strangers together like that, in a room and make it feel like she’s my sister.”

Katie was very fond of her new friend and birth-mom. “She was a really sweet mom to her two kids,” Katie says. “She took really good care of herself….she just had no support, no financial support, she was just super overwhelmed.”

The couple knew the risks of domestic adoption. Often mothers change their minds. Katie says the risk was worth it to them. It was a huge leap of faith but they were willing to take it.

“In the back of our minds we were scared about that but we also felt super called to what we were doing and we felt sure about it…I had never been so sure of anything in my entire life.”

Katie and Ben prepared their family to bring home their new baby boy. Before long they were back with Mama D for a cesarean section delivery. The birth-mother asked Katie to be in the room with her and although this made Katie nervous, she wasn’t going to miss out. Katie recalls the mother being terrified.

“I was hurting for her…I was trying to think of something to take her mind off of things and I asked her what she was listening to back in her room and she said ‘her church music’. I asked her about it and she said, ‘that new one, you know, the Good, Good Father.’…I was like ‘I do!’ ”

With tears in her eyes, Katie recalls singing the song together, while their baby, Bishop Michael, was born. Together, these two women brought life into the world. A precious life that one was giving away and one would receive. The ultimate sacrifice of one, the blessing and answered prayer of another.

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“I felt so undeserving of this and yet I felt so proud of this amazingly, brave woman that loves him enough to do this and is letting me be a part of it.”

On the day to take their new baby home, the situation shifted quickly.

“We were sitting in the cafeteria waiting to go up and sign our paperwork and the social worker called me and said, ‘she can’t do it’. Her aunts had come forward and they wanted to take care of him…and I felt like the world came crashing down. I literally remember running, grabbing Ben…and sprinting out of the hospital…It was the hardest day of my life for sure.”

Katie says there had been no signs up until then. She says too, the hardest part was not leaving him; it was walking away from her.

“We were angry and hurt but we were never mad at her…God so protected that relationship…I still felt like I loved and adored her and that never changed even though I was so heart broken.”

Katie and Ben returned home with empty arms. Katie says this was the hardest part for her. She was angry and confused but she heard Gods voice constantly telling her to trust.

“I wanted to look strong, like I did trust him, but I had to just know that it was okay for me to be sad and broken hearted. I had to take that to him, and still trust that he was going to make something good out of this. I knew that she was going to be part of our family somehow. I knew he hadn’t brought us together to rip us back apart.”

It was Christmas when the family was sorting through the loss and trying to move forward. Katie recalls her children, specifically Campbell that led her to healing. The honesty and heart of a child is immeasurable. Campbell made a Christmas card for Mama D and asked her mom to mail it. Together, the family gathered up a few small gifts and sent them to Mama D.

Through the tears, the family continued their adoption journey. Many didn’t understand why. Why would they choose this hard path? Why would they choose to continue when they already have a family? “I remember telling someone that hard does not equal bad and easy does not equal good, that is not the Gospel and our pain is never wasted.”

While waiting to hear from an agency in Utah, Katie received a phone call from her social worker in Florida. “I thought why would they be calling me? That’s really weird…They told me that Mama D’s help backed out and she was really overwhelmed and she asked them to ‘Call Katie’.”

Katie immediately called Ben and told him the news. After her confusion and suggestion to pray, Ben said, “No, I don’t have to pray. Call them back. I’ve known the whole time. Katie, this is our baby. God meant for him to be ours.”

In March, when Bishop was 4 months old, he was lovingly placed into the Compton family by Mama D.  

“It was so worth it,” says Katie. “I watched all four of our hearts break in November when we didn’t get to bring him home. And I got to watch God heal all four of our hearts and show us that he is faithful and one hundred percent in control.”

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“He is in ALL things,” she says. “The pain is real but so are the hope and the joy. I feel so grateful to be chosen to be his Mamma.”

Today, Katie says domestic adoption and birth-mom ministry is her heart-beat. “I want to see the stigma on birth-moms changed…we are not rescuers…there is nothing about us rescuing Bishop, if anything, he has rescued our whole, entire family. It is a gift and a joy, but these birth-moms are the heroes.”

Katie was originally fearful of domestic adoption but she says God radically changed her heart. She says God pretty much told her, “You have the opportunity to grow your family together with another family and I’m going to do it and you don’t have to be scared.”

She says that much of the negativity towards birth-moms is the words we use. “I’ve heard many moms say they could never ‘give up’ a baby. I know what they mean but at the same time, I so badly want to tell them that the mother did not ‘give him up’. She made an adoption plan for his life, she planned ahead for him, she combed through families. She took time to get to know us, she placed him in a loving, caring environment.”

When looking ahead to the future, Katie says she’s excited to watch God work in the hearts of her children; to see them learn and grow and see His plan for each of them unfold and bring Him glory. Her children were able see his faithfulness in a mighty way.

“God can use them in Big ways,” Katie says. “I’m grateful for the ways this adoption journey has grown them and Ben and I. I’m excited for what’s ahead. And now we finally have our beautiful boy to love him hard and watch him grow!”

Katie knows that there are hard days ahead too. “Obviously he’s going to know he’s adopted because he does not look like me, but the Lord has never left our side for one second, and I know he’s going to do the same for Bishop. He is our little light. And I’m just so proud to be his Mamma.”

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“I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think you’re like. But I’ve heard the tender whisper of love, in the dead of night, and you tell me that you are pleased and that I’m never alone.”   -Chris Tomlin; Good, Good Father

{Forward&UP} is a mission meant to inspire and encourage women all over through the telling of our stories and the changing of our hearts.

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